Suffering in the early hours of the morning.

I'd like to make it clear with this one: I feel terrible.

My nose is running like a roadrunner from a coyote - fast, long and with absolutely no sign of letting up anytime soon. My throat is raw, my head hurts from all the guck piled up inside it, breathing's a bit of a chore due to the blocked nose and sore throat, and I'm exhausted and can't seem to sleep due to all of the above.

I'm not saying all of this as part of a pity party, I'm just explaining that I'm not writing this particular article from a place of strength. Quite the opposite, in fact. And I think that was the point.

As I was making my way downstairs to collect about half a metre's worth of tissue for my nose, in my half-asleep state, I thought (for some strange reason) that I was an animated character, like from the old Bruce Timm and Paul Dini DC animated universe. Of course, I realised that was a silly thing to think. Aside from anything else, if I was animated, why was I sick?

For a start, animated characters don't get sick. Usually. Why would they? Being imaginary, they don't have to deal with any problems except the ones the writers can come up for them - and these problems are usually a little more entertaining than an unpleasant cold in the middle of May.

Usually, but not always. I was sure that at some point, there must have been a point when I watched one of these old animated shows and someone was sick in them. Why would that be? Why would a writer choose to let their creation suffer from something as simple and unpleasant as an illness?

And a very odd, but I think very real thought entered my mind. They are only as vulnerable as their creator allows them to be. More importantly, we are only as vulnerable as our creator allows us to be.

It's something that we were discussing some weeks ago, myself and some of the guys from my church (it's called a Life Group, since our church is called Life Church and all). We were going over the idea of suffering being a natural part of life, and that just because we have put our Faith and hope in the Father and the sacrifice of Jesus, we are not automatically exempt from this aspect of life.

It's an issue many people struggle to get their heads around. If God truly is a God of justice, why do bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people? Why doesn't He punish bad people when they do bad things, and reward good people when they do good?

I can't pretend I have all the answers at the moment. But I do know that, aside from anything else, none of us are in a position to be demanding that God punish some people and reward others. Both Jesus and Paul made it quite clear that none of us are anywhere near close to perfect. 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone'. 'All have failed and fall short'. In other words, the minute we start asking why God doesn't give some people what we think they deserve is the minute He can turn around and point out that we have screwed up a number of times ourselves.

This isn't done in an attempt to emotionally blackmail us into going along with everything God says. Accepting Christ as our Lord and Saviour means we are saved, and our sin is washed away by his blood. We are guiltless in His sight, and all that. But it's not our place to be calling down judgement on others. It's His, and if He chooses not to then chances are, there is a pretty good reason for it. He loves us all equally, after all. As such, all go through suffering in life - to varying degrees, I will admit, but we still all suffer.

So why does God allow suffering for His children, the ones who put their hope and trust in Him? It can be very easy to view it as a betrayal; assuming that by aligning ourselves with God, He will protect us from harm, and when He seemingly doesn't it can make Him seem either cruel and uncaring, or powerless to stop it. Neither one is the truth.

Many times the Bible makes it clear that our strength is found in our weakness. We are made vulnerable by our suffering, and in that vulnerability we see God in a way that we don't when we feel we can do anything in our own strength. In a weird way, it's a bit like a father-child bonding session when God allows suffering in our lives. If nothing else, it shows us where we hold our strength - and that reveals a lot about us in itself.

So if God wants to continue to allow me to be ill, I'm not going to sit around and complain about it. I'm going to ask what He's trying to tell me, and if all He wants is for me to hold myself in Him while I ride out this metaphorical storm - well, I'm going to do just that.

Oh, it is currently 03:13 am. This is the first time I've been up at such an hour writing something that wasn't due in the next morning. I wish I could say that I think it will be the last.